Hotarubi
by Cyrelia J
Summary: Realized I forgot to post this here- One change in history can alter the future. "Maybe the gutter trash sidekick doesn't want the little gutter trash princess! Maybe he wants the Heero all to his goddamn under privileged self..." 1x2x1 death, sex, GORE


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters... (now torturing them on the other hand... ;;) I also don't own the Song "Hotarubi" Dir en Grey does. Two lines marked at the end by an were taken from the song "Anubis" by Luna Sea. In addition there are a lot of quotes taken from other sources, namely the bible, and poems old enough to be public domain. If you'd like email me and I'll be happy to provide a full list. I'm not making any money off of this so please don't sue me

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Dedicated to Ad who wanted original... and then said this was "too original"

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Hotarubi

By Cyrelia J

Furu boketa shashin dake ga

hi wo kasane yuku

hi wo tomoshi kazaguruma de

ayashi namida ga

_Only the dusty old photographs, _

_days pass on _

_they lit the fire _

_with the pinwheel play with the child, the tears _

Sneakered feet fell almost without sound on the hard floor, save for the slight padded noise. In the dim lighting, his eyes scanned the cell block, the gun hanging at his side unused but ready to be drawn at a moment's notice. With a few well placed blows, he'd managed to take out the guards without notice, but a glance at the time indicated that he wouldn't have long before they were discovered. There were a lot of empty cells, he'd have thought OZ would have filled them all. Nevermind that. It only made his task easier.

He reached the last cluster of cells when he noticed the sleeping figure. He couldn't be sure that Duo Maxwell was truly unconscious, but an initial rap to the bars indicated that such was indeed the case. He walked to the door. and slowly fingering the cold steel at his side, lightly pulled the weapon free. Heero Yuy took a deep breath and slowly aimed. His arm was steady and he had the other boy's heart in his sights. He watched the slow rise and fall of the sleeping form and lowered his arm. He thought of Relena's blue eyes when he'd last seen her. They'd widened when he told her he was going to kill her. There was that imperceptible something he'd never seen on a human face before; an innocent recognition. He banged the weapon against the bars and watched Duo turn. There was a deliberateness about the motion he'd never noticed, but at the same time without awkwardness. He surmised that Duo was looking for an opportunity to escape.

Heero smiled without mirth.

"It's me." Duo's eyes fell to the weapon and the slightest hint of a smile appeared on his face. He walked to the bars, wrapping his hands around them, and made as if to poke his head through the too small space.

"Whaddya know, the great Heero Yuy as I live and breathe. Must be my birthday cause I know the colonies wouldn't waste their finest on lil' old me." He tilted his head to the side and Heero looked into those wide violet eyes for any sign of that unrecognizable fear.

"You-- you know why I'm here." It didn't seem so much a statement as a faltering question from one whose mission objectives had always seemed so clear before. Duo looked at the gun and licked his lips.

"I know why you're here. You're going to kill me, no?" Heero's lips tightened into a thin line.

"You've been compromised." Duo laughed, looking amused, and pushed himself away from the bars.

"Ah of course. It's that simple ain't it 'buddy'?

"I don't have a lot of time." He didn't look at Duo. Instead he watched the shadow dancing across the ground in front of him. The sterile lighting suddenly was grating to his optic nerves. "You don't know anything. I--" He took a deep breath. He owed Duo. Saving his life would be an un-necessary risk, but that girl and her innocent eyes. Those innocent eyes that Relena had... he'd built up enough condemnation in his life. Without saying anything else Heero's hands gripped the bars, pulling hard, and with his muscles straining he felt them parting slightly. He watched the shadow on the ground moving closer and felt the callouses of the other boys hands close over his.

"Stop." Heero paused and looked at still figure. Duo stood in front of the parted bars but made no move to attempt to squeeze through them. "I saw the future Yuy. Want me to impart to you the great knowledge of the ages?" That little grin never wavered as Duo carelessly leaned against the bent steel. Heero didn't answer him and the braided figure continued on as if that were his cue.

"I see you Yuy. I see your future all laid out and purty as a picture. Yours and mine." He raised his hands to the sides of his temples with a soft chuckle letting his eyes fall shut. "I see us winning the war. I see you and me best fucking 'buddies'. And me, best man at your best fucking wedding to Relena. Yeah the Heero always gets the little princess don't he? He's so cold but she just fucking melts him. Tell me when I'm getting warm 'pal.'" Heero felt himself tense but didn't say anything further. Relena... that wasn't what she was. She was an ideal right? She wasn't... He thought of her eyes and her smile and he looked back to Duo looking away again at the unrecognizable expression on the boy's face. "You can't lie to me Yuy. I never lie but I can spot one a mile away. You don't have to tell me shit. Same old love story since time began and what does the faithful little sidekick get? Well the gutter trash gets his own little gutter trash princess and they get to move back to L2 have a shitload of little welfare babies and live poorly, happily, ever after." Duo turned away then whirled back angrily.

"Well fuck that Yuy! Maybe the gutter trash sidekick doesn't want the little gutter trash princess! Maybe he wants the Heero all to his goddamn under privileged self ever thought of that!?" Heero took a step backwards.

"This-- this isn't the time. I don't even know you and--"

"Oh you'll know me alright Yuy. You know why you'll know me? You'll never fucking forget me." He laughed suddenly and stepped closer underneath the fluorescent lighting; a halo over his head. Whether it was a trick of the light or a vision, it was gone, and so was the moment Heero thought he'd seen. He thought he saw perfection, or some imperceptible something. He couldn't find the words, and even if he had them he didn't have the voice to speak. There was no future. There was only now, and only the war that he'd probably die in anyway. He noticed Duo's silence as well and allowed himself to meet the dilated pupils. "You save me. We save the world. Princess saves your cold little heart." Duo whispered, breath hot on Heero's face. He reached through the bars and pulled Heero's gun up holding it to his chest. "But let's tell him what's behind door number two shall we?" Heero's hand held the gun tighter but he made no effort to pull it away. He watched Duo's eyes, the rapid flickering of his irises, and turned his attention to the lips which pushed awkwardly against his. They didn't really move. but just sort of mashed there in that position. He raised his arm to push the other away but stopped himself, and Duo pulled back a moment later.

"Kill me Heero. Complete the mission. Save the world." He looked at the other not smiling, but all the same Heero felt as if he'd just been defeated. "Look at me Heero. Whenever you remember your little princess look at me. The more you kill me, the more beautiful I can become." He leaned in whispering softly to Heero. "You'll never forget me. You'll never look at her will you."

"I--"

He made a move to pull the gun back as he felt Duo's fingers grasp the trigger. "So I, who has been killed, will be loved forever."

"Duo!-"

Bang.

Kago ni yurayura yureteta

akago waratte

_rocking back and forth in the basket _

_the baby laughs. _

_"Heero--" Turning in the darkness, Heero saw the cold steel walls of the OZ base once more. Completely without light this time, he groped along them blindly. The walls which he recalled being smooth, felt rough, and only when he brought a hand up to wipe the sweat from his forehead did he realize his hands were bleeding. He pulled back from the walls, hearing the crunch of broken glass beneath his feet, and staggered along seeing a doorway with bright multicolored lights streaming onto the floor. _

_"Ain'tcha gonna watch my ascension Yuy? Watch me rise on the third day?" He stopped in the doorway, looking at the splintered wood and the broken window panes. He recognized it as a church and looked away from the empty stares of the broken statue heads on the ground. The stained glass had been blown out all over the floor and he carefully stepped over the chips of busted marble, avoiding the mysterious streams of light. The altar down the center was cracked, and as he approached it, the paint flaked onto the ground in front of him. His eyes strayed towards the plaster statue balanced on the wooden cross. _

_He took a step back, his arm falling beneath the blue light that his mind told him was impossible without window panes, and he jumped when he felt the burning on his arm. Jerking the appendage back, he stared at the burn mark and made as if to leave. His eyes fell upon the golden chalice on the altar and the swirling red liquid inside of it. _

_"This is the cup of my blood Yuy. The everlasting covenant and all that other good shit I bet your controller never bothered teaching you." Heero, without really thinking about it, took the cup and brought it to his lips. It tasted like sweet wine swirling around in his mouth but it burned as it slid down his throat. He dropped the challice on the ground, holding his throat, his eyes wide. "So should I forgive your sins Yuy?" Struggling to breathe, Heero looked up, his eyes frantically darting around the church. "Y'know a man once told me that suicide sends ya straight to hell." Dressed in black, Duo stepped out from a side door past the altar steps. In his hands was another golden goblet, and upon seeing it, the reflection nearly blinded the suffocating young man. _

_"No no-- ya can't go to hell without me Yuy." He laughed and leaned in, taking a small circular wafer from the goblet he held. He waved it in front of Heero who drew back, stumbling over the dais, falling to his knees. _

_"Y-you--" He reached out finding his hand passing through the smiling boy. _

_"Body of Christ baby," he whispered shoving the wafer past Heero's lips. The kneeling soldier choked and involuntary swallowed the dissolving disc. He felt his throat relaxing, and falling forward he sucked in a needed breath, catching himself before hitting the ground. Heero took another breath to bite back a scream, as the shattered shards rubbed his knees, and broke through the rough skin on his palms. Using the altar as balance, Heero pulled himself back to his feet, _

_"Why am I here Maxwell?" _

_Duo threw back his head and laughed, showing a large row of teeth, a few cavities, and a hole near the back. _

_"Here on this earth or here in my little yellow submarine?" Heero turned to face him, balancing himself on the marble altar, catching his breath. "I'll tell you why you're here; why you exist. To save the fucking world Yuy. I thought your controller would've told you that. 'least mine did when he wasn't jacking off to some farm porno shit." Duo gave a snort and took a few steps right and then left again, setting up his own little pacing line. "No you're here-- here in my lovely little house because I say so Yuy. Because--" He wiped a mock tear from his eye, perching himself on top of the altar. "I was right Yuy. Little Miss Muffet is the last thing on your brain isn't it?" He reached for Heero's face, and surprised the other when his hand was solid and warm. _

_"Why?" Heero breathed not looking up. _

_"Because precious," he began grandly, "I'm nothing if not a benevolent God." He grabbed a messy clump of Heero's hair, jerking the other's head back. "Open wide, here comes the airplane." Heero's lips parted to speak and he felt Duo's tongue being shoved into his mouth. He held his breath, recalling J's last oral examination with the metal pronged fingers. Duo was metallic and hot; not particularly tasting like anything but burning so sweetly. Heero dared to reach up again and found his hands holding firm on Duo's skin, smearing blood over Duo's cheeks. Duo backed away grabbing Heero's wrist and cleaned the sticky hemoglobin. "You don't get to self-destruct yet Yuy. Didn't ya know I died on the cross to save your ungrateful ass." _

_"What are you--" _

_He didn't see Duo there and began to feel the ground beneath him shaking. The ceiling began to fall, plaster raining down, followed by a wooden beam which he dove to avoid. Picking himself up off the ground, Heero ran towards the door being burned down his arms and back as more stained-glass light was exposed. He slapped at his arms as the skin burned, trying to seek some sort of relief. _

_"Heero! Come back and kill me!" He heard Relena's voice calling to him and he whirled around instinctively. There was no one there until he saw Duo, beaten and bloodied, driven into the cross by three rusted iron nails. He looked up at Heero, eyes violet and angry. _

_"Still her?! Betrayest thou the son of man with a kiss you bastard!" _

_"No-- Duo--" Heero screamed as the light burst through the ceiling and his entire body felt burning and hot like the fires of hell. He watched the flames rise, clawing at his skin feeling it melt off with his frantic motions. The church fell down around them and the still figure on the cross watched him with angry brooding eyes... _

Heero woke up.

RA-ra sayonara

RA-ra yoru ga fuke

_aa, goodbye _

_aa, the night wears on _

Heero sat up and sucked in a breath, feeling a sharp pain shooting through his side. He blinked a few times trying to clear away the clouds from his eyes. Waiting for the room to blur back into focus, Heero felt around for his gun. Where the hell was it? He thought of a better question a moment later: Why wasn't he dead? He remembered the voices calling to him. He remembered J... _"They won't get the Gundam."_ The explosion, the mission. He was supposed to save the world wasn't he? "Save the world and marry the princess," he whispered to himself. He rubbed the clouds from his eyes and saw Duo's face in front of him. He touched his fingers to his lips and shook his head. His eyes finally cleared and scanned the room.

"You're awake." He turned towards the source of the noise, head spinning still, and saw a lanky brunette who appeared to be watching his neck.

"Where the hell am I?" Heero looked around, and seeing the windows and doors were free and clear, relaxed. The other didn't answer him and instead walked to the door where an older young woman stood with a tray. He took it, the both of them conferring softly amongst themselves. He studied the back of the boy's figure: the jeans, the hair, the form. "You're Barton aren't you." Balancing the tray with on arm, he turned and shut the door.

"More or less," was the evasive reply. Barton set the tray down on a small night stand and for some confounded reason he seemed to be looking down again; the old scar on Heero's chest-- was that it? "You should eat something. You--" he paused. "You do eat, right?" Heero looked over at the bowl of soup and dipped his finger in. He brought it to his lips experimentally. "If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't have bothered saving you." Barton seemed annoyed as he stood up and went to the window. "And to answer your earlier question, you're safe. That's what's important-- isn't it?"

Heero didn't say anything, taking a few ginger spoonfuls of the soup. Barton gave a sigh.

"Well, I suppose I should be more like you; more like a soldier that is." Heero ignored him.

_"You don't get to self destruct Yuy-"_ Heero turned.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. I never say anything, do I?" He seemed to be mostly addressing himself. He looked at Heero, a single eye visible beneath his wild bangs. That eye once again roamed up and down his body. "You'll be well enough to leave soon. You should. You're not dead so you don't get out of the mission."

"What do you know about the mission?" Barton looked thoughtful before sitting down on the foot of the bed. "I know what my controller tells me to know." He seemed to be addressing Heero's lap now instead of his face. In fact, Heero realized, Barton hadn't looked him in the eye even once. He discreetly reached beneath the blanket feeling for his gun. One of the earliest memories of his espionage training involved lie detection and deception. And Barton was giving off more warning signals than Heero was comfortable with. Of course the weapon wasn't there.

He had no idea what Barton's controller might have planned, but to Heero, L1 was his first priority not the alliance.

_"More like a soldier."_ Heero silently swore to himself. Barton wasn't going to kill him; he was just going to hold him here and prevent him from his assignments. For all he knew the soup contained some powerful hallucinagen. He closed his eyes and saw Duo lying bloody in his arms.

_"I who has been killed... will be loved forever."_ His eyes opened, but there the other boy still sat, hat askew on his head and that damn cocksure grin. Heero opened his mouth but instead watched Duo's long fingers smoothing out the bedspread. He'd never noticed the L2 pilot to possess such a nervous gesture. He heard a deep, deliberate breath being taken and he felt a hand touch his arms lightly. Duo's fingernails were short and smooth on his skin. He shuddered and turned his head. Duo's fingernails were always unkempt and half broken. Heero jerked back rubbing at his eyes. "Barton," He hissed, his arms tensing for combat. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I--" Trowa stiffened. His eyes still hadn't met Heero's as he slid off of the bed.

"Whatever drug you gave me Barton it won't work." Heero rose, looking for his shoes. "My system is highly resistant. Go tell your controller his sabotage--"

"Wait." Heero paused and found it odd that the taller pilot still kept his eyes fixated downwards. Heero looked behind himself as best as he could, not seeing what was so damn important that seemed to be stamped on his ass. "I--" Barton wasn't even looking at him now.

"What is it Barton? And look me in the eyes for once. You keep staring at me. Why?" Heero noticed a twitching of the right hand. So Barton was unarmed as well. Good.

"I like looking at you." Heero stilled.

"What?"

"I didn't mean to touch you but-- your body feels nicer than mine." He picked at some imagined scab before going for the soup tray. "If you want to know anything else you'll just have to ask me. I'm not -- I'm not going to say anything else otherwise." He took the tray with the soup on it, mumbling something about it being cold.

Heero watched his back as he left and thought of Duo's lips.

"Barton." He didn't think he was heard, but a few moments later Barton reentered the room unasked. He looked at Heero but didn't say anything. "If you-- want to-- you can." Barton looked into the hallway and then quietly shut the door. He sat down on the bed and began an examination of his shoes. Heero sucked in a breath and then sat down next to him. He watched Barton's hands fidget in his lap not looking like the were moving anywhere. The other's face was right in his before he knew it. Heero pushed him back.

"What are you doing?"

"I-- I wanted to kiss you." Heero shook his head almost trembling. He touched his lips feeling Duo still lingering on them.

"Don't do that." He reached for Barton's hand but brushed his crotch when the hand was jerked back. A single green eye narrowed at him before looking away.

"So-- that's how it is." He pulled back slightly contemplating something. After a moment he removed his shirt and started unbuttoning his jeans. Heero looked confused and opened his mouth. Barton's calloused palm was over it. "You don't want any of that kissing shit-- I understand." He looked almost angry for a moment. "I don't want you to talk to me-- alright?" Heero noded and Barton moved his hand, continuing to disrobe. "And-- I don't care what you do. Just-- don't touch me. At all." He wasn't looking at Heero as he stood and removed his briefs. Heero watched him for awhile, recalling from memory that Duo's ass had a small dimple when he bent over. He had never had a reason to recall that before. Heero realized that thinking that made him warm. He removed his own shirt careful of the bruising and stared a few moments at the bulge in his lap. He ignored it for the time being while he took off the spandex. Barton refused to look a him. "Are you ready Yuy?"

"Yeah."

_"Body of Christ baby."_ He heard Duo's voice and for an instant saw his stomach at eye level. Heero could recall every one of the fine little hairs beneath his navel. He shivered again and felt that stir in his groin. Barton was all business, interrupting him.

"Let's just get this over with."

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

yami no naka e kiete

saikai no yoru ni saku

hotaru no hikari

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_and disappears into the dark _

_the light of the fireflies which spring _

_up on the night of our reunion _

_Heero picked himself up off of the ground. He held his injury instinctively and then realized after a moment that it was gone. He shifted his hand as he stumbled along the ground blindly. He felt the wind on his face but his eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness. His hand scraped a hard, stone, surface. It was cold and the hot wind blowing on his face was a welcome contrast. He pressed his cheek to the side of the stone slab with a sigh of relief. He could make out the faint area in front of him and he saw a few wooden crosses sticking out of the ground. Heero rubbed his eyes, stepping away from the stone. He turned back and realized he'd been leaning against a large mausoleum. The pilot drew back and stumbled, almost falling. _

_He felt a brief moment of panic and scrambled to his feet, looking around wildly. The clouds that had been obscuring the moonlight cleared and he could see the rows and rows of unmarked graves. He couldn't see the gate to leave and the mausoleum was gone. He walked down a long row until off in the distance he saw a new stone tombstone. There appeared to be the silhouette of a small boy sitting on top of it. Curious, he walked over, the letters becoming more clear. _

_Here lies a brave unknown soldier _

_Lived for freedom _

_Died with Honor _

_He will never be forgotten _

_-Treize Khushrenada _

_Heero blinked and turned to the small boy. He had looked almost familiar with his long hair and violet eyes but his hair hadn't been braided like Duo's and his clothes hung off in tatters. The figure was gone now and Heero turned back towards the strange words. They reverberated through his mind. He knew who they referred to; another innocent casualty of the war by his hand. He jumped, feeling a cold hand on his shoulder, and threw himself back against the stone. _

_"What's the matter Yuy? Can dish it out but ya can't take it?" Duo clicked his tongue in disapproval, his arms crossed over his chest. He stepped forward, lovingly ghosting his fingers over the inscription. He sighed. "You'd think that bastard G would've at least had one of these little wooden tokens built." Duo kicked the tombstone not looking at Heero. "Funny ain't it? Seems the guy I oughta hate the most is the one who don't even deserve it." He stood next to Heero, shoulder to shoulder looking on ahead. "Maybe I shoulda loved him instead." Duo turned to Heero, grandly sweeping a hand in front of his startled face. "Ah but those eyes, those lips, that stupid fucking glare." He turned his eyes down speaking mostly to himself. "And that was how I came to love a pig." _

_Heero reached for him wondering if the other would be solid. He was. Duo caught his wrist in a strong grip. _

_"Why don't we try this little number on for size." He snapped his fingers and the words blurred on the tombstone. _

_Now I am become death _

_The destroyer of worlds. _

_"Have I doomed the war Yuy? Or are you all just going on without me?" Heero was about to speak when Duo's finger to his lips silenced him. "Of course it has. Of course you have." He shook his head. "And verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me." He laughed. "What a lucky boy am I, not just once but twice." He released Heero's wrist an before the other could react, Duo's fist connected hard with his jaw. Heero staggered backwards holding his face. Angrily, Duo shook out his smarting hand and advanced on him. "On the third day I rose from the dead for you Yuy and this is how you repay me? By fucking Barton." _

_"I-" _

_"Oh I know, you were thinking of me the whole fucking time. Why Yuy? Why fuck him then scream my goddamn name?" _

_"Duo--" _

_"Kiss me. Let us salute one another with a kiss of love. Peace be unto you all that are in Christ." He pressed forward, pushing his lips to Heero's. Once again the other was caught off guard, but he leaned into the motion parting his lips for Duo's tongue. He tilted his head, their mouths able to move closer together and he shivered with every hot swipe of Duo's tongue against his own. He held his breath, fists clenched tightly to his sides, as their teeth clinked occasionally. He pulled back a fraction to take a breath and Duo's tongue lapped at his parted lips. He bit the bottom one sucking the tiniest bead of blood from the wound and pushed Heero back against the tombstone. The dead pilot breathlessly continued to ravish him, sealing their mouths together playing along the roof of his mouth. Duo's hand slipped between their bodies and he rubbed his palm against the bulge between Heero's legs. _

_Heero lost the battling with Duo's tongue, his mouth slack and panting while Duo continued to taste him. Duo licked the corner of his mouth. _

_"Is that what you want Yuy?" Heero gave a nod, his eyes closed. _

_"Yesss--" Duo slipped his hand under the elastic band of Heero's spandex shorts. He toyed with the head of Heero's cock, rubbing his thumb around, smearing the slick fluid. Heero jerked, his head cracking on the stone. Duo hungrily kissed Heero's exposed throat, his teeth scraping the other's pounding pulse. "Want you--" Heero whispered. His hands moved to Duo's waist pulling him closer. "Not-- not your hand--" Duo groaned and pushed his hardness against Heero's thigh. _

_"Did I say give unto me? Or offer a present for me of your substance?" Heero blinked in confusion. "W-what?" _

_"Ah, dear book of Job. Sorry baby." Duo ducked his head in apology and slowly kissed behind Heero's ear. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride Yuy." _

_Heero blinked, and he found himself on his back laying on the toppled tombstone. He looked up and saw Duo standing naked over him. Everything was where he remembered, from the slight curve of his hips to the teasing line of hair leading down to his cock. Heero moved to sit up and Duo pushed him back by his forehead. _

_"Down boy." He smirked. Heero watched him kneel, and lifted his hips when Duo tugged his shorts down. He left them at about Heero's knees and looked around. Heero looked, but didn't see anything. Duo straddled him, and Heero gasped when their cocks rubbed together. "Brevis nostri tempus est," he whispered against Heero's lips. His hands were splayed flat on Heero's chest like two cold electrodes. There was a slight pressure when he picked himself up and backwards. Heero felt his heart start beating harder as the tip of his cock slid up and down between Duo's cheeks. _

_"Please--" _

_Duo reached behind him taking hold of Heero's cock. He stroked it lightly pressing the head against his opening. _

_"Tell me Yuy, did you beg like this with Barton?" He slowly lowered himself allowing just the barest fraction inside. Heero shook his head wildly, his hands moving up Duo's thighs trying to urge him to hurry. The hot wind which Heero had felt upon his arrival had died down completely. Duo was suddenly hot, even his thighs were sweaty beneath Heero's hands. " _

_"Why? Tell me why Yuy?" Heero's hands groped almost blindly wander along the clenching muscles of Duo's stomach. _

_"He-- He wasn't you." Heero didn't answer the question. Duo smiled at him strangely and in one motion let himself drop. There was a bright flash of light in the distance. _

_"'nother funny thing that Job said... 'My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust; My skin closeth up, and breaketh out afresh." Heero looked up and noticed a worm fall out of Duo's hair. He had to squint to keep the light from burning his retinas it was so bright. Another worm fell out of Duo's hair and he brushed it off of his stomach. _

_"Duo?--" he gasped. He watched the other's eye slip out of its socket and dangle down by the nerves. Why hadn't he notice that before? A maggot crawled up to his chest and Heero slapped it away. Heero realized for the first time that Duo's hair was nothing but worms, crawling around his bare scalp. His nose was gone and more small white maggots crawled from the hole. Duo's skin crackled and fell apart beneath his fingertips. His head lolled to the side and he slumped forward, his hanging eye looking at Heero. His lips seemed to be rotting away and beneath Duo's cheek was a patch of a bare skull. Heero heard a clock chime as he tried to push Duo off of him. _

_"Guess it's time I turn back into a pumpkin eh?" Heero's scream was swallowed up..._

He sat up suddenly having felt the cold water splashing his face.

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

yami no naka e kiete

saikai no yoru ni saku

yuritachi no sugata

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_and disappears into the dark _

_the shapes of the lilies blooming _

_on the night our renuion _

Heero wiped the water from his face taking a few shuddering breaths. He looked around and realized the graveyard was gone. The smell of metal and oil were the first things he smelled, and he took a deep breath savoring the familiarity. He looked over and saw Barton kneeling next to him.

"The repairs on the Gundams are coming along well." Heero shook his head. He was almost about to ask where Duo was. He pulled distastefully at the soggy, clinging, tank top.

"What's the matter with you?" Barton set the large cooler back on the ground. "The mechanics won't be too happy," he murmured, lips thoughtfully pursed. Heero stood up.

"Are you talking to me or yourself?"

"Does it matter?" Trowa brushed his shirt off absently. Heero just sighed and started walking towards him. "I'm not in the mood." he tossed out. Heero didn't bother looking at him.

"Neither am I." He ignored the flash of anger and leaned over the railing. "This is wrong."

"What?"

"The Gundam. Can't you see it?" Barton leaned backwards against the rail not bothering to look.

"The paint on Wing is supposed to be white and not 'it looks grayish in this lighting' white?" Heero tensed.

"I asked you before, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"We'll go our separate ways soon enough so it really doesn't matter does it? What's wrong with the Gundam?" Heero frowned.

"It puts me at an unfair advantage." Barton sighed.

"Fine then go out there waving your gun around and see how well you do. Learn how to fly while you're at it."

"I need to use HeavyArms."

Barton slammed his hand down on the railing.

"No." His voice was cold but to Heero he looked angry.

"If it's about my injuries they're not important." There was a bit of laughter at that.

"What makes you think I give a damn? Go out there, fight Zechs, get your goddamn head blown off. But don't use my Gundam to do it."

"Barton--"

"Trowa! I have a name Yuy . If you had to say something when we fucked. After I asked you not to the least you could've done was say my name." Heero went still. He hadn't thought Barton... no Trowa had noticed the slip. "I heard you Heero. I don't love you. I'm beginning to wonder why I even liked you. I'd like a little goddamn respect is all."

"It won't happen again."

"Fine."

"Is that it then?" Heero stilled when he saw the gun.

"You're not taking my Gundam. If you don't want to use Wing. Then I'll fight him." Trowa's eyes narrowed. "I think I will fight him. Fuck you Heero. If you die we lose another pilot and we're already at a disadvantage." He tucked the gun back under his shirt. "Maybe I'm not a robot like you but I am soldier." He walked down the platform to get into HeavyArms. "If I have to I'll sit in the cockpit all night and maybe I'll be the one doing the dying. He looked at Heero. "If I kill Zechs why don't you just take the credit anyway."

"You can't do this."

"Watch me." He closed the cockpit. Heero swore softly and carefully made his way down to Heavy Arms.

It had taken him most of the night to work on Trowa's Gundam, and even harder because he had to tiptoe around the other pilot. Heero rubbed at his eyes and dragged himself into Wing's cockpit. His stomach growled and he had to pee, but Zechs was probably awake already anyway. He swore softly as he turned all the systems on. He was about to contact Trowa when the familiar face flashed across the screen.

"Are you ready?"

"You shouldn't be fighting him. It's my fight." Trowa snorted.

"You look like shit. You'd lose anyway. I won't kill him."

"Trowa--"

"Ever notice the people you kill are the ones you end up needing later?" Heero stilled. His eyes burned behind and he looked down. Trowa's expression softened. "I'm sorry. That was out of line." He looked as if he might say something for awhile then moved to break communications. "Um- Good luck." Heero gave a nod and the small box went to black

He didn't need someone else to die for him, but there seemed no other choice. Taking the controls, he was determined that nothing should interfere with the battle. His eyes blurred and he rubbed at them furiously. He imagined briefly an eternity filled with nightmares of both Duo and Trowa haunting him.

"I should have died long before this," he whispered to himself as he did brief diagnostic.

_"ya can't go to hell without me--"_ Heero made all the necessary adjustments.

"This is hell Duo--" When the hangar opened he flew out seeing Tallgeese on the monitor. He held his position with Heavy Arms at his side. He saw the other gundam advance.

"I thought you understood." Heero tensed and looked at Heavy Arms.

"There's been a-- change of plans," he managed to spit out.

"I see. Forgive me my selfishness Heero Yuy, but you're the one I wished to face." Heero almost winced. Frustrated he ran fingers through his hair. Trowa might as well have cut his balls off and handed them to him.

"You'll have to fight him first."

"I might have expected differently from you Heero Yuy. I won't hold back on him. I'm disappointed." Heero felt a surge of anger. He'd wanted to fight Zechs, but so had Trowa; and Heero didn't know Heavy Arms the way its pilot did. He glared at the screen.

"Don't be. I'll meet you on the battlefield soon enough. He's better than I am anyway" He killed the communication on that vague note and watched to two of them leave. He checked the radars seeing nothing unusual. It would have been torturous to watch the battle if he couldn't participate. With a tired sigh, Heero hung over the console almost falling asleep.

A beeping a few minutes later awoke him and he jerked awake, cursing his body's weakness. He immediately flew Wing to the site of the disturbance. The radar was showing Oz suits and he hoped he wasn't too late to keep them from reaching Trowa.

"Shit," he swore his body quickly coming back to full awareness as 2 suits flanked him. Wing's beam saber took out the one on the left and he narrowly avoided fire from another unknown source. Just how the hell many were there anyway. The beam rifle still wasn't operational. He watched another attack from the left and avoided it easily this time. It was really too sloppy for soldiers. He managed to take out the cannon in one swing, and following through damage to the main thrusters, forced its pilot to eject. As Noin with the back up took out the other attacker, Heero turned towards the last approachers. readying the vulcan gun. At almost the last second he realized it wasn't OZ.

"Relena--" he whispered. There was a stabbing pain in his side and he looked down. The injury had almost healed itself. The pain was almost negligible. Pressing his hand to the ache, he pulled it away bloodied.

_"Still her?!"_ He shook his head, eyes watching the monitor. He touched the wet fingers to his lips.

"Duo--"

"Heero!" He looked at her, feeling his stomach clench. He though he was going to be sick. There was the reason, happy and smiling in front of him. She- wasn't worth Duo's death.

"Relena, why are you here? It's too dangerous." She smiled at him. "I have a letter for you Heero. You remember- Sylvia Noventa?" Heero swallowed a large lump, his face impassive. Another victim of his "destiny". He wished he could throw something.

"I- please-- please don't. Don't make me look at it." he whispered not looking at her.

"She wants you to know that-- Well, I think you ought to read it." He shook his head.

"You don't understand Relena. I have to-- save the world-- save the princess." He looked confused. Relena tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a blush.

"I'm not a princess Heero." She looked serious. "This isn't a fairy tale either right? It's lives. Not just yours and mine but everyone's." Heero's eyes unfocused and he ran fingers through his messy hair.

"I'll-- I'll kill you won't I?" Relena relaxed and laughed softly.

"You haven't yet Heero."

"I-- I couldn't kill Duo either but he still died." Relena didn't say anything for awhile. "Shouldn't you be stopping the battle? Or were you here to see me?"

"Who's fighting him then if it's not you?"

"Trowa is. But he shouldn't be." Relena opened her mouth but he cut her off. "Please, I can't read it. Not yet. There's a lot that I can't do yet. Maybe never." Her expression was soft.

"I won't let them destroy one another Heero. Not so pointlessly. And I understand." She looked a little sad.

"You should go. It's been three hours now. And neither of them should die because of me."

"Weren't you going to kill him someday?"

"If-- if it saves the world I'll-- I'll do what I have to." She gave him a weak smile.

"I'll save the letter for you. In case you need it someday." He gave a nod and watched her plane fly off towards the battle scene.

Anata aishita kono ko ni

anata kasanete

anata ima soba ni yuku wa

kono ko to futari

_In this child that you loved _

_I see your image _

_I'm going to you now _

_with this child in tow_

_Heero brushed himself off as he looked up at the sky. The atmosphere swirled red and he shielded his eyes from the blinding light as it seemed to be fading down. He sat up, looking at the ground in front of him. The concrete was rife with bits of broken glass and the pavement was warm as he put his hand down on a fairly clean area. He pushed himself to his feet and brushed the bits of glass from his clothing. He looked around slowly, seeing the windows blown out of the building near him. An electronics store had been looted save for an old broken television in the front. _

_The wind blew, and a few old papers brushed past him. Heero started walking down the street. The other buildings were in the same condition, and he slapped a large fly off of his arm when he passed a ravaged butcher shop. The further he walked, the more obscured the sun became, appearing only in intermittent slits through the high buildings. As he looked up towards the higher urban towers, he saw clothes hanging from the balconies and open windows. He watched the overturned cars which dotted the road and the lack of stillness made him reach for his gun. He swore when he realized it wasn't there. He didn't want to draw attention to himself by calling out so instead he continued walking until he found himself so far between the buildings that no light reached him. _

_He looked up into the sky but couldn't see any stars. There seemed to be a blanket of fog over the city and he looked for a place to find shelter. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness around him and he was almost blinded when a street light flickered on in the distance. He noticed a small figure standing under it and he fought the urge to call out to the other individual. Instead, muscles tensed, he walked over slowly until he could make out the figure of a small girl. He reached her, and he saw that she stood slightly higher then his knee, dressed in tattered scraps of clothing and a small dirty hat. He noticed a few strands of hair out from under it and when she looked up at him her eyes were as blue as his own. _

_"W-who are you?" He asked softly, kneeling down. She took a step back from him looking wary. _

_"I-- I lost my daddy," she whispered to him. Heero looked around and didn't see anyone still. _

_"Where are all the people at?" _

_"Gone." She started biting a dirty finger looking around. "C-could you help me find him big brother?" Heero stilled for a moment having a flashback of another little girl. one older but innocent nonetheless that he couldn't save. He picked her up, absently adjusting the little cap on her head. _

_"We'll find him," he whispered and felt warm when she smiled at him. _

_"Thank you." Heero looked at the empty buildings and watched some of the rats run own the street. His eyes noticed a bite mark on her leg and he examined it closer. He touched it gently and she winced. _

_"I'm sorry. I wish I could fix it." She hugged him around the neck. _

_"It's alright." She shifted away from him, but not before he noticed the wound slowly healing. He didn't say anything but kept walking. _

_"Where do you live?" He was going back into the darkness and was wary of all the silence. She stopped him. _

_"I live at the Maxwell Church, but you're going the wrong way." Heero stopped dead and examined her more closely. _

_"Who are you?" She looked away and pointed to where they'd come from. _

_"You have to go back to the light but-- you're not dead. You won't find it." He almost dropped her. No, she wasn't... When he turned around again he notice a small church. he didn't recognize it until the doors opened and he saw inside to the altar he'd seen Duo on before. He shuddered and took a step back. He remembered how the lights had burned him and how the building collapsed. _

_"Daddy's in there." She tugged on his shirt and tried to squirm out of him arms. Reluctantly, he stepped up the stone steps and through the open doors. The building was bright inside, and brand new. His feet sunk into the carpet as he walked down the center aisle, and from the balcony played "Ave Maria". The church was empty as he walked down the long aisle. It hadn't seemed so large from the outside but the wooden pews stretched out like a sea of glistening oaken waves. He looked towards the stained glass saints, and the light touching his skin was warm but it didn't burn. The lights seemed to shimmer from the ceiling and the child in his arms smiled as the song reached its crescendo. They neared the altar, and in the very front row of a left sided pew knelt a figure. Heero recognized the long braid and the priest's black clothing. _

_"Duo--" _

_He set the girl down, and when Duo turned at the mention of his voice she ran to him. He stepped out from between the pew and knelt, letting her knock him down. Heero shifted his feet and looked uncomfortable. Duo turned his attention to the other boy and sat up. _

_"Thank you." Heero looked away. _

_"I didn't knew you had a daughter." He missed the expression on Duo's face but not the angry tone. _

_"Yeah Yuy, I got kids on every colony y'know." _

_"I'm sorry." Duo sighed and lifted the cap from the child's head and put it back on his own. Heero had thought the hat seemed too big. _

_"You, are looking a real bona fide virgin birth Yuy." He kissed her cheek. "Ah that you would have known her but alas she's mine." She giggled, and looked at Heero with his own eyes. _

_"Who is she Duo?" _

_"And after my skin, even this body, is destroyed, then without my flesh I shall see God." He spoke softly and looked to Heero. "Another little life you snuffed out Yuy, but she don't get heaven like the other one. No poor little baby didn't see God." _

_"I-- don't remember her." Heero looked frantic. He'd have remembered her. If she'd died by his hand he'd have to remember! "Duo watched her affectionately. _

_"What do you think happens to children who are never born but should've been? Not those killed but those who never were?" Heero looked confused. _

_"How?--" Duo looked thoughtful. "Well, perhaps I share part of the blame Yuy. Remember you should've married Princess. But you didn't. And you won't. And thus," he tickled the girl who laughed. "And thus little princess here never is, was, or ever shall be." Heero studied her. She looked like him but he saw the gold highlights off her hair. He walked towards her. "She's mine Yuy. Cause this is hell. Y'know hell? The place of sinners?" He laughed bitterly. "Well it ain't all fire and brimstone, it's just a fucking eternity in the place you hate the most." He swept his arm around grandly. "Welcome to L2 Yuy. Y'know some of us lucky sumbitches are discarded in death just like life." _

_Heero swallowed. "Then-- why is she here?" Duo sighed and stood up. "Because she doesn't exist Yuy. Not really. Not outside of here." _

_"She should." _

_"You didn't care enough for her to be born Heero. Why care now?" _

_"What about her life?" _

_"This is her life." _

_"Duo. You can't do this--" Duo's expression darkened and he held her tighter. _

_"Why? So you can marry Relena, fuck her, and live in hell while my daughter suffers. Never." Hearing him, Heero looked down. _

_"Don't make me leave Daddy," she whispered looking at him. Heero felt his chest tighten. and his legs gave out. _

_"I want her too Duo--" Letting the girl go, Duo sighed and crawled over to him. His lips brushed Heero's cheek. _

_"Ask and ye shall receive." He waved the little girl over and she walked to where Heero knelt. _

_"Daddy?" Heero looked and realized she was addressing him. She went to hug him an he opened his arms. He held her tightly. _

_"Just once, maybe I deserve a little selfishness." Duo watched him with an unreadable expression. "She's mine Yuy," he whispered and Heero looked down to see the fine grains of sand slipping through his arms. _

_"Duo!--" _

"I'm going to enjoy killing you Heero!" He heard the once gentle voice and opened his eyes.

Ra-ra sayonara

Ra-ra yoru ga ake

_aa, goodbye _

_aa, the night comes to a close _

Heero grit his teeth, coming out of the stress induced fog that he'd found himself in. Quatre's face appeared on his view screen next to Trowa's with cold eyes. He smiled.

"What are you doing Quatre?" Heero looked to Trowa on the monitor and the other pilot shook his head.

"It's all gone crazy Heero all of it. I'm going to destroy it. Starting with you." He turned the modified Gundam to Heero, and in response Mercurius flew out of the way. The blast rushed past him and he looked back towards the monitor. "I have all the time in the world Heero. If they send more suits I'll destroy them too. I won't be happy until I kill the traitors and you."

"I don't have a conflict with you Quatre, this is insane."

"You haven't seen real insanity yet Heero! My father fought for these traitors and look how they repay him they side with the enemy!" He fired again and Heero winced as fire erupted from the colony.

"And you! You the worst traitor of them all Heero! That! " The Gundam swung its saber out to point at the damaged Vayeate. "That is mine Heero! And if there's one thing us spoiled rich little bastards hate its people touching our things!" Heero flashed a look to Trowa on screen and put them on a closed channel. He had one eye on the monitor and another to Trowa.

"What the hell did you tell him?" Trowa shrugged. His calm was unnerving in the situation.

"The truth Heero. Remember that little thing called the truth? For example, telling someone when you're only fucking them for convenience, instead of making up some bullshit about needing me." Heero swore softly.

"Trowa this is a war, Quatre has gone crazy, this isn't the time--"

"No of course not." Trowa leaned back. "When I fought Zechs, you came to me afterward and fucked around with my head. This is a war Heero and I'm not about to get killed because of you." He indicated Quatre.

"We've gone on without 02. We might not make it with further losses. So if I was you I'd get the fuck out of his way and let me stop him." Heero gripped the controls in frustration.

"Dammit you idiot you can't go getting yourself killed like Duo did! Why are we all so eager to die?!"

"Because we have nothing to lose Heero. What will I lose? Especially now, the colonies have turned against us and we can't even trust each other anymore. Wufei said I was a traitor. You're the traitor."

"Trowa--"

"Forget about it. Why don't you get out of here. The Queen of the World seems to think your life is more important than mine and maybe she's right. I wasn't named for a great colony leader I had to borrow my damn name from a drunken philanderer. So get the hell out of here and let me stop him. He won't kill me but he will kill you and if you hang around long enough I might not be so inclined to stop him."

"I'm not going anywhere Trowa. I have to stop him." He flicked the monitor back on to Quatre who seemed to be waiting for him.

"You surprised me Heero, I thought you'd get him to do your dirty work for you again. I can't say I'm disappointed." He raised the beam cannon. "Why don't you kill me Heero? I'm crazy right? A liability? Wasn't Duo a liability?" He smiled when Heero tensed. "First I destroy you, then I destroy the colony and after that the whole goddamn universe."

"You know I can't let you do that Quatre."

"Then stop me Heero." He fired another shot and this time he sent the off guard Mercurius crashing into the colony. Heero saw the hole and shut his eyes tightly. Why the hell did Duo send him back to this? He wasn't a savior he couldn't save the universe. A single colony was being demolished by a madman and he was too damn weak to stop it.

"I don't care what they say their goals are I don't care about the alliance the colonies or any of it! Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven and if I get to destroy you and all the other traitors I'll gladly send this insane universe to Hell!" The beam cannon charged and Heero didn't have time to move before it fired. He couldn't go back to Duo, he couldn't leave like this. He couldn't...

"Trowa!" Quatre screamed as the damaged Vayeate took the brunt of the blast. Heero felt his chest clenching. He looked away. He couldn't watch anyone else dying for him. He didn't look again until he heard the weakened voice over the open channel amongst them.

"This isn't you Quatre. You-- you saved me before. You saved me when I needed someone. I'll let you kill me because you deserve it. But I won't let you do it as someone else." He shifted and stared into the screen, and the intensity of the gazes between them made Heero uncomfortable. "Kill me Quatre. Come back to yourself, to your ideals to your father's ideals and kill me!" Quatre's fingers slipped on the controls and Heero used the opportunity to knock the cannon away. Quatre didn't seem to notice instead focused on Trowa. "Heero isn't worth it Quatre. I don't give a shit about Heero. Yeah he's a traitor but I don't want you to be like him."

Heero heard Quatre's real voice before Vayeate started to break apart. "Trowa--"

"Quatre I-- I lo--" The suit erupted, and he watched with panic as Trowa was ejected into space.

"Trowa!" Quatre screamed moving the Gundam to follow. Heero intercepted him quickly. "Heero get out of my way."

"No."

"Heero-" his voice was tired. "I don't want to kill you. But if I have to to save Trowa, I will. The beam cannon is gone but you're not putting your hands on him again." Heero looked at him. His eyes looked calm, he seemed to be back to himself. He couldn't afford another mistake. "If you're insane-- If this isn't you Quatre--"

"I can't fix the colony Heero. I can't fix what I broke but right now I have to make sure I don't lose another part of myself." He fixed the other guns on Heero. "Now get out of my way Heero."

Sucking in a breath, Heero turned the Mercurius aside. "I'm sorry Quatre."

"So am I." Going after Trowa, the blonde's face disappeared from tthe monitor.

Minamo ni ukabu anata dake senjou no naka utsushidasu

_Only you appear in the midst of the battlefield floating on the water's surface._

"Zechs!" Heero looked into the monitor at the blonde man. This was it; the fight he'd beeen waiting for. "This isn't Trowa, Zechs. I have to kill you!"

"Then that's something else we have in common. Zero told me I had to kill you." Heero smiled.

"Epyon told me the same thing." The attacked flashed behind his eyes and he brought the shield up to block the beam saber. He took aim for Wing's chest with Epyon's plasma saber and forced the other gundam back with the impact. He blinked and Duo's face flashed across the monitor. The other pilot smiled at him and Heero looked down seeing the large hole blown in his chest.

_"We are the Hollow Men eh Yuy?"_ He blew Heero a kiss, and the temporary stop allowed a blast from Wing's buster rifle to knock the shield aside. Wing plowed into him, and the crash of metal rang in his ears. He threw the other mech off and took a step back. Duo's face was on the monitor again.

_"Life is very long. Don't you wanna join me Yuy?"_ Heero grit his teeth and drew his saber again. Behind his eyes flashed the attack and the two weapons crashed together. He blinked and saw Duo running his finger around the hole in his chest. _"Kinda tickles..."_

"Shuttup Epyon," he whispered. "That isn't him get him out of my head." He swung hard and knocked Wing astray. He followed through attacking the main thrusters but was parried. Sweat beaded on his face and he wiped it off. The sweat ran down into his eyes and burned like stray soap bubbles. In front of him swirled Duo's face. He whistled softly, and it sounded to Heero like a funeral dirge. His hand left the right control and he reached for the boy. "Stop it. Duo, Epyon, whoever you are." Duo patted his cheek. The blood from his chest dripped onto Heero's lap.

_"You know how to whistle don't you? Just put your lips together and blow." _

There was a ghost touch to his face and his eyes snapped open again. Epyon had stopped dead and Heero quickly grabbed the control once more. Wing had retreated and Zechs appeared to be studying him.

"You won't play these mind games with me Heero!" Frantically, Heero attacked with the heat rod wanting to destroy him as fast as possible and get out of the gundam, but he swung wide. There was a brief flash of Wing's return fire and Heero brought the shield up feeling the forced of being knocked back. Heero looked down to his lap and saw no blood. he shook his head and turned back to the screen. The possibilities were endless. Attacks from above, gunfire, beam saber, beam cannon. The number flashed across behind his eyes, and he could feel the pain being forced into his head of various trajectories velocities, and outcomes. He took a few shallow breaths and looked around wildly.

_"I am a slave of the Infernal bridegroom; the one who seduced the foolish virgins."_ Cold lips pressed themselves to his neck and Heero shivered. He shut his eyes telling himself it wasn't real but then there were cold hands pressed to his skin and beneath his shorts. Heero shuddered at the ice enveloping him and went to push Duo away. "Don't be like that Yuy. I even went to the trouble of hiring a sitter." Heero quickly opened his eyes and looked around but didn't see anyone but Duo.

"Are you-- you're Epyon aren't you?" Duo crawled up his body, lacking clothes, his cold, slick skin rubbed against Heero's. He hadn't realized he was hot until that cool relief. When Duo opened his mouth, his breath was hot.

"So I'm a machine now Yuy? You're such a non believer." Duo sighed and pushed his body against Heero's The seated pilot felt himself almost sliding into Duo and he searched his face to make sure he was still alive.

"Duo?--"

"If I had called, and he had answered me, Yet would I not believe that he hearkened unto my voice." He frowned. "Maybe I oughta be screwing Job instead of you." Heero bit his lip when Duo lowered himself all heat and tight and suddenly Heero couldn't breath. His lips were pressed to Duo's, and he tried another breath, but couldn't make his lungs work. As Duo moved, he tried to breath again, but Duo seemed to be taking his breath. He felt Duo's skin heating against his; going from cold and clammy to hot and burning. His hands on Duo's waist struggled between pushing him off and pulling him tighter and he tried to move away from Duo's mouth. He was seeing spots and rainbows and with every movement by the fevered body he felt himself being pulled closer to the blackness. Duo pulled his mouth away and threw his head back. His was glowing, his cheeks were flushed, his lips red and filled with blood. "Heero..." He couldn't breath and as he looked at Duo he felt himself slipping away both in and outside of the dead boy. He opened his eyes again and--

Duo was gone and Zechs was advancing with Wing fast. He grabbed for the controls but his arms wouldn't move. The beam saber was raised and he tensed, waiting. Zechs stopped and his eyes were wild and staring at him.

"Who are you?!" Zechs screamed. Heero opened his mouth but couldn't speak. He heard Duo but couldn't move to see him.

"Silly boy, Don't you know death when you're talking to him. Ah such a shame you're a cute one too but-- Anyone who sees me is going to hell!" Heero's hands on the controls suddenly jerked into motion and the heat rod totally disabled Wing's cannon. "The God of Death has returned you sonofabitch and I'm taking you the fuck down." He laughed and Heero felt his hands jerking quickly, his reactions magnified in their attack. Wing's shield was brought up but Epyon took advantage of superior speed and charged, knocking out one of the main gyros. There was maniacal laughter as the other Gundam faltered.

Wing moved, slowed like a drunkard, swinging its beam saber out wildly and Epyon was faster to react. Heero's knuckles on the controls were white and he couldn't force himself to let go. There was a fast turn as Epyon knocked the weapon aside and struck again. There was a flash on the monitor and in the glare he saw Duo's face reflected instead of his own. His hands jerked away from the controls and flew to his hair. He patted the sweat soaked locks and realized they ended at his neck just like they ought to. His hands raked over his face feeling for the familiar contours and scars. He let out a breath and looked down. His clothing was just as he'd left it. He looked to the monitor and saw Zechs in Wing, still in a standoff position. The other man was shaking but the Gundam was undamaged.

_"This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper."_ Heero's fist pounded the control board furiously, ignoring the pain.

"Stop it! Stop it! Shut Up Epyon!" He struck again, the controls crackling and the Gundam auto landed itself as a last resort. He screamed, undoing the restraints holding him in the seat and when the cockpit door open he staggered out of it looking around frantically for the phantom Duo.

He glanced across the field and noticed Zechs doing the same.

"This isn't right. The feel has been off from the beginning." The wind made it hard to hear, but he didn't mistake the nod from the blonde man. He saw the other's lips moving and he seemed to be shouting something. Heero took a step towards the edge of the platform putting a hand up to his ear. There was a faint shouting and suddenly the wind was still. "What?!" Zechs lowered his voice in the sudden silence.

"I said, who was that boy with you? You couldn't fight me alone?" Heero froze, the beating of his heart increasing magnified in his chest. His fists clenched and unclenched, his nails digging into his palms.

"W-what boy?" he almost whispered. Zechs seemed to consider him for a moment before he replied.

"He had long hair--"

"No--" Heero shook his head wildly.

"He said he was the God of Death." Heero looked down and saw the ground seeming to swirl beneath him. It was coming up fast, and until he heard the thud on the ground he hadn't even realized he'd fallen. His lips, parched and bleeding from where his teeth had bitten into them moved slowly.

_"Does he talk to God? Maybe I should talk to God myself. I am in the depths of an abyss, and I have forgotten how to pray."_ He felt the blackness coming up on him and arms encircling him picking him up off the ground. He heard laughter in his ear but it didn't sound like Zechs. "Not yet Yuy, you still haven't saved the world."

"Duo--" Behind his eyelids was the other boy holding the little girl in his arms.

_"Give it time Yuy I'm not going anywhere."_ He grinned and gave a tip of his cap before disappearing.

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

yami no naka e kiete

saikai no yoru ni saku

hotaru no hikari

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_and disappears into the dark _

_the light of the fireflies which spring _

_up on the night of our reunion _

Heero tipped his hat down and walked past the string of reporters that had come to see off the Queen of the world. His eyes scanned the crowd as he made his way to the private gate. He checked the carefully placed security badge and passed it through the scanner. The gates opened and he saw Relena sitting by the window as the mechanics outside made the last minute checks. He saw the attendant of hers standing off and talking to the woman near the boarding gate, dressed in a uniform similar to Heero's. He smiled to himself in congratulation to the accuracy of his memory from that last time he was at this airport. It had been nearly ten years ago with Odin. Heero sighed. The security system was obviously the same one too. Leaning against the wall, he watched until one of the guards by the gate checked his watch. He walked over to him and smiled.

"Thought I'd relieve you a little early." A shrewd glance to the man's hand and he noticed the ring on his finger and a bag lunch near his bag that looked carefully arranged.

The man looked wary until Heero added,

"You could go home and eat lunch with you wife." With a silly grin the man clapped him on the shoulder.

"Thanks man." He grabbed his things and Heero slipped into his place with a roll of his eyes. He set his own bag down and took out the small bear, and then thinking better of it set the toy down on the floor. Checking to make sure his gun was still in place, he walked over and sat down next to Relena. She turned.

"Who-- Heero!" He put a finger to his lips looking around.

"I can't stay long Relena. I just thought I should see you." She sighed.

"You should come with me to Sanq. You can help me bring peace to the colonies. They shouldn't just rally behind me. You're the one who won the war for us Heero." He looked out the window at the blue sky for a moment sadly.

"There were others. There-- should have been others."

"But 'Heero Yuy'; it's his name and something else the people can look to instead of me." Heero gave a rueful smile.

"You're stronger than people give you credit for. And I'm just a soldier. I shouldn't be rewarded for following orders. I'm mostly a murderer anyway."

"Aren't we all? Didn't I order the pilot from L3 to kill my own brother? You're no worse than the rest of us Heero. You're human." She put a hand to the glass in front of her looking ahead. "I don't want people to believe in me because they're not believing in Relena Peacecraft. They're believing in some media ideal called 'The Queen of the World'." She laughed softly. "Isn't that awfully pretentious? And funny I should be saying that now." She looked at him and absently brushed the bangs from his face. "It wasn't that long ago I was inviting you to 'The grand 'gala' that was my birthday party."

"I never understood the point of celebrating another year closer to dying." She sobered and moved her hand.

"It's another year that you're alive." He sighed, leaning back against the hard plastic of the chair.

"Maybe I shouldn't be."

She opened her mouth but he continued on.

"You only met him once-- but you should've known him. The L2 pilot--"

"I saw a broadcast about his execution. You can't blame yourself for what happened in the war Heero."

"I killed him." She went still and looked at her hands folded on her lap. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something else. "I went there to kill him. I couldn't do it. So he did it for me." He shivered. "You saw the broadcast. Then you know that Treize gave him an honorable burial on L2 near the destroyed Maxwell church ruins. Why should the enemy do more for him than I did?"

"Heero--" He was breathing heavily and didn't realize it until he felt the tears slide down his neck that he was crying. "I'm sorry Heero." He wiped his eyes quickly then rubbed the wetness off on his pant legs.

"You don't have anything to feel sorry for. I should be the one apologizing." He thought of the little girl that Duo held in his arms and couldn't look at Relena. "For what never was."

She turned and hugged him lightly.

"Some things just aren't meant to be."

_"You didn't care enough for her to be born Heero. Why care now?"_ He shut his eyes briefly and for a moment thought of what if. He thought he might kiss her but Duo's face flashed out of the blackness behind his eyelids. _"Betrayest thou the son of man with a kiss you bastard!"_ He felt the bile rising up from his throat and he pushed it down. He hadn't realized Relena had let him go until she shook him lightly.

"Heero?" He opened his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm sorry Relena."

"Life's too short for regrets. My only regret would be if I had never met you."

"I could still kill you." They looked at each other and laughed. He had almost stopped but then he looked at Relena and couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh harder. She laughed right along with him until the butler had turned to stare awhile. There were fresh tears in his eyes and his stomach had started to hurt after awhile. He reigned himself before he became hysterical and took a moment to catch his breath.

He soon became serious again and reached behind him. He pulled the gun from the safety of its holster around his waist. For the briefest moment her eyes widened and he realized then that he'd made the right decision. Even as he died, Duo had never feared him. Heero turned the weapon around and handed it to Relena.

"If you need to die so badly, you can do it yourself." She took the gun gingerly and turned it over a few times.

"Why are you giving me this Heero?" He took her hands and adjusted the weapon properly.

"You don't need me like you think you do. At least not anymore." He sighed. "I'm just tired. Too tired. That gun's been a part of my life since as long as I can remember. It should keep you safe if I can't." She held the weapon but didn't say anything. "Pacifists die," he said quietly. She simply nodded. His hands were still on the weapon and he stroked the trigger. "All I ask-- is one thing of you? You love me. If you love me like you say you do then you'll promise me--"

"Promise what Heero?" He watched the trigger and gave a jerk of his head towards the bag on the ground.

"I want you to take that to L2. And put it on the grave of that soldier buried on L2. It's just-- just a gift is all." Her head cocked to the side suspiciously.

"Why can't you do it Heero?" He didn't answer her, but his grip tightened on the weapon. "Answer me Heero or I won't do it." He winced and couldn't look at her. His lips moved but she had to move in further. "I didn't hear you. Or you were just pretending to talk. I deserve more than that from you." Heero sighed, his head bowed. The light from the setting sun streamed in the window and reflected of off his hair. It looked almost like a halo. "This almost reminds me of the day we met. I thought you were a prince fallen from the sky; and now you look like an angel." He laughed softly at the irony.

"Maybe yes, maybe no." He took a deep breath and shoved the barrel of the gun she was holding to his chest. She tried to let go but his hands were locked onto her wrists. "I told you that day at school that I would kill you. I was wrong." He lifted his head and looked her full in the face. "You're going to kill me."

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

yami no naka e kiete

saikai no yoru ni saku

yuritachi no sugata

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_and disappears into the dark _

_the shapes of the lilies blooming _

_on the night our renuion _

She tried to pull the gun back but his grip was a lot stronger.

"H-heero why are you doing this? We won! We're free!" He shook his head and looked behind her briefly. Duo stood there dripping blood onto the cracked linoleum and blew him a kiss. Heero trembled, and watched the blood flow out in all directions. He looked to Relena and realized that Duo had gone.

"I'll never be free," he whispered to no one in particular. His grip hadn't loosened on the gun. "You don't see it Relena-- but he's here. Right now he's somewhere here. He was behind you and he'll be somewhere else soon enough."Relena turned looking around.

"I don't see anyone Heero." He didn't see anything either.

"You don't understand what's been in my head. Since he died--" Heero stopped himself and laughed desperately. "I guess he's not really dead is he?" She looked nervous.

"You're seeing the dead pilot Heero?"

He ignored her and shut his eyes. When he opened them Relena was still sitting there but there was nothing but darkness all around them.

"What happened to the lights?" His hands on the weapon shook.

"What are you talking about Heero?" By the time she'd finished her sentence, her voice had grown almost too faint to hear. Duo stepped out from the shadows with a crooked, cocksure grin. "What are you doing here?" Duo sat down carelessly on the back of the chair. Heero looked to Relena and saw her frozen in place. Duo pulled the gun out of both of their hands twirling it around his finger.

"Well of course, I must watch my darling boy's ascension." He watched Heero and carefully took aim. "Could you put it in your mouth Yuy?" he leaned forward and pushed the barrel against Heero's lips. "Cold like death ain't it?" He pressed his hand to Heero's cheek stroking it. "Then again, so am I. Open wide baby," he purred shoving the barrel against Heero's teeth forcing his mouth open. "Here comes the airplane."

Heero almost choked when the gun barrel hit his throat.

"Now if I aimed up, your brains would hit the back of the wall. He looked past Heero and pulled the gun back. Heero held his throat coughing. "Don't want jeeves to get his suit dirty now do we." Heero turned and saw the old butler frozen in place where he was still speaking with the woman at the boarding gate. "Help me out here buddy." Duo sat back leaning against the frozen Relena. "I don't wanna decide for you, You do wanna die don't you?"

"I want to be with you." Duo lowered the gun. "Do you now? Why?" Heero couldn't find the words to answer him. He looked down at the hole still leaking from Duo's chest. Duo folded his arms across the wound. "Don't feel bad for me Yuy just answer the damn question." He raised the gun and ran the barrel down Heero's chest. The end poked into his groin. "Am I that good a fuck? I'm not all warm flesh and blood like Barton was."

"He wasn't all that warm either." Duo smiled and dropped the gun. His hands clapped Heero on the shoulders and he laughed.

"Ah yes of course but the million dollar question before you win the big fucking prize Yuy." He dropped his head and didn't look at him. "Do ya love me?" Heero reached out to him and absently ran his finger along the bleeding circle. Duo shivered as the calloused digit brushed parts of the hanging flesh.

"What happens when your blood runs out?" He touched his finger to his lips. The blood was still warm. Duo leaned forward and licked the sticky fluid from his lips.

"Never does." He pushed Heero's shirt up and tapped a cold finger to the other's chest. "I think right here." he traced Heero's rapidly beating heart. "I think it'd be a nice little matching set." His nail scraped the skin painfully. "Answer the fucking question."

"I love Relena."

Duo went still.

"I see, said the blind man." Heero shook his head and took the gun from Duo.

"I need you." He put the gun over his heart an leaned in. "I need you." Duo smiled.

"Give me the gun precious." Heero reluctantly handed it over and watched Duo lovingly stroke the barrel. For an instant his eyes darted behind him to the still Relena. "I guess you don't really need her do you?"

"I never knew what hell was until I met you."

"Flatterer." He turned and faced Relena. "The angels, not half so happy in Heaven, went envying her and me..." Heero's eyes went wide as Duo's breath ghosted over her body. The frost layered over her hair and her lips turned blue, eyes glazed over with ice. Her skin took on a blueish hue as the snowy crystals formed and crusted over her once warm skin. "...That the wind came out of the cloud, by night, chilling and killing my Annabel Lee." The icy crystals sparkled in her hair and then dispersed as the butt of the gun shattered her face into a million glass shards. The broken pieces rained down on the floor in a violent melody and a cascade of cerulean. The slippery mess slid along the floor in all directions, until coming to a scraping halt.

Duo stood up and walked to the window, the glass crackling beneath his feet. He looked into it, whatever trick of light had taken place before, now transformed the dark glass into a mirror. He breathed on it and left no frosty impression. Heero's hand was held to his mouth trembling. He fought the urge to vomit.

"Guess she was a real blue blood after all." Duo chuckled.

"Wh-what did you do? Why did you--"

"Look around Yuy. If this is real; if this hell is real than how can the living exist amongst the dead?" He waved his hand and for the first time Heero saw into the endless darkness thousands of standing figures trapped in place. He looked down and realized he was no longer sitting on the chair but sitting on just another slice of blackness. He fell but he didn't hit the ground. He began falling and he kept flying through the air but Duo remained in the same place at the mirror. Only the rush or air past him told him that he was the only one falling. No matter how far he fell the people were stopped on the same non existent floor and that Duo still leaned against the mirror.

"So how's it feel to have the illusion pulled out from under your feet Yuy? They don't know there's nothing here to stand on! They won't see this, any of this until they're dead like me and the blackness never ends. This is Hell Heero! Nothingness is hell and I--" He held his hand up and Heero landed on the undefined floor. Duo was on his knees looking down into the darkness. "All my life Heero, I've seen this darkness around the world all my life but no one else could see it. Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen. I hoped when they died they'd see it; they should be here with me but they're not. Nothing but these stop motion figures that don't move and don't even die." Heero blinked and then noticed that Relena was sitting back right where he'd left her, perfectly untouched.

"What about all those other places?" he asked softly.

"They weren't real. Or they were only real because of you."

"Me?" He thought of the graveyard and the broken church, of the empty city with the maggots and the ruined buildings. Duo smiled.

"Maybe I was wrong; Hell isn't nothing. Hell is better than nothing."

"What about the little girl?" He hadn't seen he at all since they'd entered this non space.

"That's up to you." Heero walked over to Duo and pulled him up. "Hell." Duo's hands slipped around his waist and his bloodied chest slid against Heero's. "We'll you're a murderer aintcha?"

"I'm a soldier."

"Then what am I?"

"Duo--"

"There's a life you could take Heero; and never regret it ain't there?" Heero looked to the gun at Duo's feet and then picked it up.

"My own."

Duo took the weapon from his hand and threw it away.

"Kiss me." Heero looked to where the gun was thrown but saw nothing; not even the frozen shadows. "If you want to die so badly Heero then kiss me."

"I've kissed you before Duo." The other boy smiled.

"Ah but such a shame there were no witnesses to our matrimony." He snapped his fingers and from the blackness came hundreds of small lights flickering in and out. Heero saw the fireflies as they flew closer, lighting up the darkness. He looked back to Duo. "Some say they're the souls of the dead being carried to the afterlife. You oughta know that Heero." He thought back, remembering once a long time ago that J had told him. He didn't think Duo knew. "Omnipotence baby." He cupped Heero's face between his palms. "Ready?" The other boy nodded and closed his eyes. Behind them he could still see the fireflies. He felt Duo's lips on his and sighed.

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

saikai no yoru ni saku

Kaze ni naru kamikaze wa

saikai no yoru ni saku

hotarubi to yuri no hana

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_on the night our renuion _

_the divine wind loses its divinity _

_the light of the fireflies and the flower of the lily blooming _

_on the night of our renuion. _

Relena screamed. Heero fell over dead and Relena screamed louder wiping the blood off of her hands. In the darkness around her, the fireflies lit up the endless night.

End

So anyhoo for those wondering about how in the name of Gundam this is a rewrite of "Hate This Place", here goes. The 3 common factors are:

1. Duo has to die in the beginning

2. Heero has to have sex with Trowa

3. Heero dies by gunshot at the end


End file.
